My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
