dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
