found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
