I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
