smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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