overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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