I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
