just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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