so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
