is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
