I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
