none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
