it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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