Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
