Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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