Tell her she can't have a vagina
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
