Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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