I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
