They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
