Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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