I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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