Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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