Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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