The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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