it wasn't lemon gatorade
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
