Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm like, not good at living.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
