Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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