She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
