that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
