If that was your dad, he is hot
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We don't watch enough power rangers
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
