your parents love me but you hate me
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
