hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
