You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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