How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
whose parrot is this?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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