The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
