rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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