Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
