I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
