so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
