i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
