this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
