If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
