So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
