We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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