Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
