Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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