Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
