I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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