how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
