Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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