its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
