I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
