remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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