Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
