I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize