The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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