I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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