I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
