5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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